Christmas Ghosts
by Xenia90
Summary: Oliver dreams Tommy. They confess their feelings. They kiss. It's only a dream


An Arrow Christmas story.

It was almost Christmas and the snow was falling peacefully on Starling City. Oliver Queen was staring out of his windows at the snowflakes. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the snow. After all he'd spent five of his last six Christmas on an island in the middle of nowhere. Oliver liked snow and this year more than ever. Snow reminded him of happy times with Tommy. When they were kids his best friend loved snowmen and growing up he love to humiliate him with battle with snow balls. Snow reminded him of Tommy, besides under the snow everything and everyone looked the same and sometimes Oliver just wanted to be like everyone else, to be normal, to be the spoiled rich boy he once was, he wanted to forget the island, the Vigilante and everything that had happened in the last year. Oliver was so focused on the snow that he didn't hear the person who'd just entered his room, which was strange. Usually Oliver's senses were so sharp that he could hear someone approach him even when he was totally focused on something else. By the time Oliver noticed something was different in the room Tommy was already leaning against the wall next to the door, his arms were crossed in front of his chest and he was smiling. Oliver frowned.

- Tommy!- he said smiling. – What are you doing here?-

Tommy smiled back and shrugged.

- I was just passing by and I decided to stop and say hello.-

Without thinking Oliver crossed the room and hugged Tommy tightly, never wanting to let go, and Tommy hold on to him just as tightly.

- I've missed you, man.- Oliver said letting him go and sitting on the bed.

Tommy smiled and went to sit next to him.

-I missed you too.-

After all the last few months had been hard for them. Since Tommy had found out that Oliver was the Vigilante things hadn't been the same between them. Tommy couldn't understand how and why Oliver could kill people. How he'd become the cold assassin Tommy thought the Vigilante was. Even without understanding his reasons Tommy had covered for him when Vertigo reappeared in town, but Oliver hadn't trust Tommy. For a moment back then Oliver had really thought that Tommy could ever something to do with Vertigo. And then all the mess with Laurel had definitely tore them apart. Laurel who somehow was always the centre of the world for them both. Laurel whose needs always came first for them, at least since Oliver had come back from the island. Before? Not so much. Laurel was a big part of Oliver's life and he loved her, but Tommy had always come first. Because Tommy was just like him and didn't want him to grow up and change. On the island maybe Laurel was the person who'd kept him alive, but he'd missed Tommy the most.

They sat in silence for a while then Tommy spoke.

- So what about your Christmas party? –

- What Christmas party?- Oliver asked confused.

- The annual Queen Christmas party. The one you family used to hold every year. The one your family stopped having when you were gone. Last year you told me that you were restoring that family tradition. –

- I'm not throwing a party this year, Tommy.-

- Why not?-

- Seriously?-

- Yeah, man, why not.-

- Didn't you see what happened at the last party I threw?-

- Well I did notice that the ballroom was mostly empty. But I recall that Felicity had a pretty good time with that guy from Startling.-

- Mostly empty? It was just me, Mum, Thea and Isabel Rochev and few others. No one wants anything to do with the Queen's family.-

-Now Oliver don't be dramatic. That's not true. Besides I wasn't talking about a big party, I was thinking a small party, with few people, just family and close friends. –

- Who do you think would come?- Oliver asked.

- I don't know. Your mother and Thea. I guess that guy your sister is dating would come too. I'm pretty sure Felicity and Diggle wouldn't miss your party. It could be a good idea if you invite Diggle's ex-wife. I know they're dating. And of course you must ask Laurel and her father. I know that he came to you asking for help not long ago, so maybe they'll come.-

Oliver sighed.

- Lance has developed a good relation with the Vigilante, not with me. He came to me just because he was worried for Laurel.- he said and then laid down on the bed. – I'll ask them. –

Tommy laid next to him.

- Does this mean that you're going to threw the party?-

Oliver nodded and then asked.

- What about you? Will you come?-

Tommy sighed and Oliver turned toward him just in time to see a shadow of sadness passing in his eyes.

-Tommy?-

- I… I don't think I can.- Tommy said.

Oliver propped himself up on his elbow.

- I'm sorry Tommy. I should have trusted you sooner. I was just trying to protect you and I made a mistake. Everyone who knows is in danger and I just didn't want you to be in danger. I'm sorry if I disappointed you.- he said staring at his best friend and before Tommy could say something he added. – On the island I hadn't been easy and you were what kept me going. I just wanted to come back here to prove you and Laurel that I had changed. I didn't want to disappoint you again and yet I did. I became a killer and disappointed you and I'm sorry.-

Tommy sighed again.

- You didn't disappoint me, Oliver, and you're not a killer. I know I said you were but you're not. You're an hero. You were trying to save this city from my father. I'm not saying that some of the people you killed could still be alive, I still think you could have chosen another way, but your heart was in the right place. You saved Thea's friend life, you saved my father, last Christmas you saved all those people from my father. I was just hurt because you didn't trust me before, but now I see why you did it. You've got nothing to be sorry for. –

Oliver smiled.

- But if you've forgiven me, why can't you come to the party?-

Tommy shook his head and didn't answer.

- When you said that on the island I was what kept you going what did you mean?-

Oliver frowned, he couldn't understand why Tommy didn't want to come to his party. He hesitated for a while. He wanted to press the issue, to know what was wrong with his friend, but then he met Tommy's eyes and something there made him give up.

- I meant what I said. You were what kept me going on the island. I couldn't die without seeing you again. I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you that I love you, but then once I was back I realized I couldn't. You were with Laurel and what I was doing was dangerous and then we fought and I knew you couldn't feel the same for me. I was a killer, you saw me like a killer and…-

Tommy closed his eyes and when he opened them Oliver was still propped on his elbow and was still staring at him. Tommy raised his arm and touched Oliver's cheek with his hand.

- We are idiots, Oliver. If we had been honest with each other we could have been happy together. I love you too. When I thought you were dead I turned to Laurel because she was your girlfriend, staying with her made me feel closer to you. When you came home I didn't say anything because you were different and I wanted to give you some time to adjust and then… We lost our chance.-

- We're both still here, right?- Oliver said leaning closer to him – We didn't lost our chance. We can take it now.-

Before Tommy could say something Oliver closed the distance between them and kissed him. Tommy returned the kiss. It was a perfect first kiss, just like he always imagine it to be, Oliver was sweet but passionate and Tommy could feel all the love they shared. It was really a shame that they didn't reach that point in their relationship sooner. A shame, really.

When they parted Tommy hugged Oliver, keeping him close for a while. Then he stood up.

-I have to go now Oliver. My time's up.- he said.

- Now? You have to go now? We need to talk, we need to figure out how to tell the others…-

- I'm sorry Oliver. I have to go. Watch over Laurel.- Tommy said turning his back at his friend.

Oliver stood up and tried to stop Tommy, he tried to grab his wrist but his fist closed around thin air, passing through Tommy's arm like it wasn't really there. Then he remembered. The day of the Undertaking. That damn thing through Tommy's chest. His friend dying in his arms.

-Tommy!-he screamed.

-TOMMY! - Oliver woke up with a start, his hand raised trying to grip something. It was dark around him, the house was quiet and the snow was still falling soundlessly out of his window. A dream. It had been just a dream. And yet he could still feel Tommy's lips against his own and Tommy's scent on his sheets. He should have know it was just a dream. Tommy was mad at him, he died thinking he was a murderer. Tommy couldn't love him back, couldn't forgive him. Tommy loved Laurel. Oliver laid back against his pillow and looked at his right, where Tommy had laid in his dream. There were a piece of paper on the sheets. Oliver took it and read the note written with Tommy's handwriting.

"Christmas party:

Your mother, Thea, Roy, Laurel and her father, Felicity and Barry, Diggle and his ex wife. Only family and close friends. Watch over Laurel. I love you. Tommy"

Oliver gripped the note in his hand. It made no sense. Tommy was dead and yet he'd seen so many strange things during his time on the island that a note left by a ghost was probably the less strange of all.

- Oliver? Is everything okay?- Thea's voice came through his closed door.

- Fine Thea.- he said.

- Can I come in?- his sister asked.

- Sure-

Thea came in and climbed on his bed next to him.

- I hear you cry out Tommy's name. I thought I could check on you.-

- It was just a dream.-

- You're crying.-

- I miss him.-

- I miss him too, you know? He was like a brother to me when we thought you were dead.- she said cuddling near him and resting her head on his chest.

- I know Speedy. I know.- Oliver said kissing her head. – Thea… I was thinking…. Would you like to have a Christmas party? Just us and our closest friends. Roy, Laurel and her father, Diggle, Felicity…-

Thea nodded.

-I'd like that. Maybe we could ask Walter too.-

Oliver nodded and hugged her closer. They fell silent and after a while they were both asleep again.


End file.
